


Fiona, Adele, Alanis

by bigficenergy



Series: As Seen on Tumblr [19]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Karaoke, M/M, Pet Names, Prompt Fill, Public Display of Affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigficenergy/pseuds/bigficenergy
Summary: Stevie, Patrick, and David walk into a bar. Karaoke and tipsy affection ensue.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer & Stevie Budd & David Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: As Seen on Tumblr [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1509461
Comments: 19
Kudos: 171





	Fiona, Adele, Alanis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JessX2231](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessX2231/gifts).



> The prompt was "pet names," which I tend to prefer using pretty sparingly, so the result was a rather long fill that does eventually get around to some pet name usage, I promise! This was a challenge, but I love what I ended up with, so thank you!
> 
> Once again, these are prompt fills for this [soft fic prompt meme](https://fraudulentzodiac.tumblr.com/post/619125619625738240). I'm moving them to AO3 slower than I'm filling them, so you can catch them [on Tumblr](https://fraudulentzodiac.tumblr.com/tagged/soft-prompt-fills) first. They'll go up here in batches of three on weekends. Next weekend will be the last batch!

Stevie watches, amused and a little concerned, as David and Patrick each knock back their second shot. They’ve only just arrived at the Wobbly Elm’s karaoke night, which is in… maybe not full swing, but partial swing, thanks to a middle-aged woman who is currently onstage, making her way nervously through “Since U Been Gone.” She’s actually not bad, so Stevie doesn’t think that’s what’s driving her friends to race to inebriation.

“I thought you guys liked karaoke,” Stevie says, reaching for her second shot, because she might as well catch up.

“I do,” David says, still grimacing at the burn of the tequila. “But I prefer to perform with at least a gentle buzz, and now I have to adjust that for the fact that I’ll be singing in front of my boyfriend. We _just_ got back together, and I’m not convinced this will be great for our relationship.”

“I’ve seen you perform,” Patrick says with a tiny burp into the back of his hand, also not handling the liquor very gracefully. “Asbestos Fest, remember?”

“And if I could’ve been drunk for that, I would have been,” David says. “I’m getting another round.”

When David gets up to leave, Stevie picks her beer up off the table and leans in.

“So what’s your excuse? You do the music thing for real, I figured karaoke would be like slowpitch to a… relatively promising minor leaguer.”

Patrick laughs at the sort-of compliment, then clears his throat.

“It’s just that my go-to song is a bit… intense.”

Stevie shrugs. “So just pick a different song.”

Patrick purses his lips and toys with his beer bottle, and eventually, Stevie gets it.

“You _want_ to do this song, though,” she says. “For David?”

“I’ve mostly just done it, you know, for fun,” Patrick says. “It’s a song that people don’t expect me to pick, and I usually let loose, really go for it. It’s always been when I’m out with friends, I’ve never done it in front of someone… someone I-”

“Oh my god, no, shhh,” Stevie says. “If you were about to say what I think you were gonna say, and assuming you haven’t said it to David yet because I’m pretty sure he would have told me, you cannot tell me you L-O-V-E him before you tell him.”

“Alright,” Patrick says, lifting his beer to his lips, but unable to hide his smile behind it. “I won’t.”

David comes back and deposits a surprising amount of shots on the table with minimal spillage, before Stevie can bring it back around to Patrick’s mysterious song choice.

“Alright, who’s going first?” she asks.

David and Patrick look at each other, then both fumble for a shot, looking in opposite directions as they down them.

“ _Fine_ ,” Stevie says, standing as a scattering of supportive applause fills the bar for the nervous woman. “I’ll go first, you two rock-paper-scissors for second.”

Patrick is about to ask if David really wants to decide that way, but David is already knocking back another shot, then holding out his hands to Patrick, fist over palm. In the end, Patrick goes rock, and David goes paper, covering Patrick’s fist with his hand, letting out a triumphant, “HA!”

“Dammit,” Patrick whispers, taking another shot. Luckily, he’s already starting to feel a little wavy, so he hopes by the time Stevie is done, his inhibitions will be sufficiently lowered.

Once Stevie has consulted with the DJ, she steps onto the stage. There are a couple of enthusiastic hollers from the crowd, which makes Patrick wonder if maybe Stevie comes here more often than she’d let on.

The music starts, a sort of sultry, dark beat coming on over the speakers as Stevie places her hand on the mic in the stand. David lets out a little gasp, like he recognizes the song right away. Patrick doesn’t catch on until the first line.

 _“I’ve been a bad, bad girl…”_ Stevie sings, receiving a wolf-whistle from the back of the bar in response. She smirks, and pushes her hair behind her ear self-consciously, which only really lends to the effect. She continues, gradually emboldened:

_“I’ve been careless with a delicate man  
And it’s a sad, sad world  
When a girl will break a boy just because she can…”_

Patrick realizes his mouth is hanging open and snaps it shut. But thanks to the tequila, that doesn’t stop him from leaning toward David, eyes still on Stevie, and saying, “I’m having some _very_ confusing feelings right now.”

David just pats him on the knee. “My feelings are less confusing than yours probably are, but I’m glad we’re on the same page, so it’s less weird.”

By the time Stevie hits the bridge, she’s all in, and David and Patrick both reach for their beers after cheering with the crowd on the note she holds at the end of _“the devil wants to know.”_ When she finishes the song, the whole bar is applauding, and she’s back looking overwhelmed, but flattered, by the attention. When she returns to the table, she takes a shot before she’s even back in her seat.

“Okay, Fiona!” David exclaims with a big smile.

“You’re _good_ ,” Patrick says, words feeling a little more difficult in his mouth now. “Like really good. Like…”

“Like if you were a guy, I’d clearly be in trouble right now,” David fills in, and Patrick shushes him.

“No but Stevie, you can _really_ sing. Have you ever thought of doing original stuff? I could help you, I-”

“You’re up next, aren’t you?” she interrupts.

“Wha…?” Patrick asks, not seeing David nodding next to him.

“You’re next and you’re stalling. Go on. Show us how it’s done.”

“Maybe someone else wants to go,” Patrick says weakly, looking around the bar.

“Nope,” she says definitively. “It’s all you Brewer.”

Patrick sighs, then takes a long pull of his beer and gets up. Stevie and David whoop and clap.

“Knock ‘em dead, honey!” David calls after him, and Patrick almost trips over one of the other patrons’ chairs. Because the thing is, he and David aren’t really the pet-name-using kind of couple. At least Patrick isn’t, unless it’s in a song. David insists he isn’t, and yet this isn’t the first “honey” that’s slipped from him. It’s a fairly new development, and Patrick suspects that it has to do with them finally opening up about their pasts to each other. It had been difficult, but they’re definitely closer now. The thought of David being so comfortable with him that he’ll drop these little terms of endearment without thinking now makes Patrick’s heart swell, and it gives him the push he needs to ask the DJ for his song.

At first, he stands awkwardly behind the microphone stand, hands in his pockets. But when the familiar piano kicks in, his shoulders relax and he smiles.

 _“You’ve been on my mind,”_ he sings, gentler and more like his natural singing voice than his karaoke voice to start.

 _“I grow fonder every day  
_ _Lose myself in time  
_ _Just thinking of your face…”_

The bar is dark, but Patrick can still just make out the face in question. David’s lips are pressed together, and his eyes are sparkling. It makes him think of the first time he sang to David, in their store.

 _“God only knows  
_ _Why it’s taken me so long  
_ _To let my doubts go  
_ _You’re the only one that I want…”_

As the music ramps up, his hands leave his pockets and rest on the mic.

 _“I don’t know why I’m scared  
_ _I’ve been here before  
_ _Every feeling, every word  
_ _I’ve imagined it all…”_

He can feel himself getting swept up in his old karaoke staple.

 _“You’ll never know if you never try  
_ _To forget your past and simply be miiine…”_

He tugs the mic out of the stand and goes for it.

 _“I dare you to let me be!  
_ _Your one and only…”_

There are a few whistles from the crowd, and he’s pretty sure one of them is Stevie. He’s all in now, hamming it up for the crowd, and making sure to lock eyes with David every now and then. For most of the performance, David looks surprised but fond. But when Patrick gets to the bridge, to the repeated, _“I know it ain’t easy giving up your heart,”_ David’s hands go to his face, his fingers pressed over his mouth. He wants to drop the mic and go to his boyfriend, but he figures he should probably finish his number. So he does, with flourish, and when he’s done, he receives about the same, impressive amount of applause as Stevie had. It feels good. He’s grinning as he hustles off the stage back to the table.

Patrick is barely back in his seat when David is springing out of his, heading for the stage without a word, leaving Patrick a little bewildered.

“Was it that bad?” he asks Stevie.

“I think you know it wasn’t,” she says, then flinches at the microphone feedback as David pulls it off the stand.

“That was my boyfriend!” David shouts into the mic, pulling back at how loud his own voice is. He adjusts his volume and follows up with, “And before him, that was my friend! My _best_ friend!”

There are some _awws_ from the audience, as well as some laughter and a little clapping. David is so tipsy at this point, Patrick isn’t sure the audience reactions are even registering to him.

“I’m very sorry that I have to follow them, but I’m gonna do it. Play it, DJ person!”

It takes the DJ and several audience members yelling at David to make him realize he hadn’t specified a song yet, and when it finally clicks, he tries to leave the stage with the mic still in hand. The cord stops him, and he sets the mic down primly on the stage before making his way to the DJ. Patrick’s hands are on his face, and Stevie is recording everything on her phone.

David works it out with the DJ and returns to the stage, stumbling when he bends down to pick up the mic, but he recovers as the music begins playing over the speaker system. He straightens up, clears his throat into the mic, and begins to sing, with surprisingly decent melodic accuracy:

 _“I’m broke, but I’m happy  
_ _I’m poor, but I’m kind  
_ _I’m short, but I’m healthy, yeah…”_

“Not the most accurate choice for him,” Stevie says.

“Because he’s tall?” Patrick asks, only half listening to her.

“I meant the ‘kind’ part,” she says, laughing when he kicks her chair. But then their focus is pulled back to David as it approaches the first chorus:

 _“...baby!  
_ _And what it all comes down to!  
_ _Is that everything’s gonna be fine, fine, fiiine  
_ _‘Cause I got one hand in my pocket  
_ _And the other one is giving a high five!”_

It’s at that point that David tries to illustrate the “one hand in my pocket” part, and fails.

“I can’t… the pocket’s under the flap…” he says into the mic, gesturing at his skirted pants, and if Patrick weren’t already certain he is in love with him, he thinks this really might have done it.

 _“I feel drunk, but I’m sober,”_ David continues, grinning at the inaccuracy of that particular line.

 _“I’m young and I’m underpaid  
_ _I’m tired, but I’m working, yeah…”_

For the next part, David finds Patrick in the audience and holds his gaze.

 _“I care, but I’m restless  
_ _I’m here, but I’m really gone  
_ _I’m wrong and I’m sorry, baby!_

 _“And what it all comes down to  
_ _Is that everything’s gonna be quite alright…”_

Patrick feels moved, the way he had when David had done his apology lip-sync, and his face is starting to hurt from smiling.

 _“‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket  
_ _And the other one is flicking a cigarette…”_

This time, David mimes the cigarette part successfully, rather than going for his pocket.

“I don’t know how to dance to harmonica,” he announces into the mic during the instrumental break, then proceeds to try anyway, swaying awkwardly. Patrick continues to be utterly enamored, and has the presence of mind to pull out his phone just in time for the end of the next chorus, when David’s “other hand is giving a peace sign.”

For the last verse, David seems to put effort into focusing on the words. The music gets softer, and he closes his eyes, holding the mic in both hands.

 _“I’m free, but I’m focused  
_ _I’m green, but I’m wise  
_ _I’m hard, but I’m friendly, baby  
_ _I’m sad, but I’m laughing  
_ _I’m brave, but I’m chicken shit  
_ _I’m sick, but I’m pretty, baby!_

 _“And what it all boils down to  
_ _Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet  
_ _Well, I’ve got one hand in my pocket  
_ _And the other one is playing a piano…”_

David opens his eyes and points to Patrick and Stevie for the next line.

_“And what it all comes down to my friends, yeah_  
_Is that everything is just fine, fiiine, fine_  
_‘Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket_  
_And the other one is hailing a taxi cab.”_

David raises both of his hands and drops the mic as the song ends, which Patrick will later advise him against doing in the future, but right now he’s too busy jumping to his feet and applauding his boyfriend. David’s performance may not have been the most musically apt of the three, but it had so much spirit that the crowd can’t help but cheer as he bows, then stumbles off the stage. Patrick stays standing so he can pull David into a kiss as soon as he’s within reach. There might be a few whistles from onlookers, and Stevie might be mortified, but he doesn’t care.

David is kissing him with so much enthusiasm, he loses his balance and falls back in his seat. This doesn’t deter David, who just sits in his lap and continues to kiss him. They’ve been to this bar enough times that Patrick feels safe continuing the display a little longer, even feeling a bit of a thrill at making out with his boyfriend in a public place.

“Alright, break it up, or I’ll have to dump these ice waters on you.”

Patrick hadn’t even noticed Stevie get up, but now she’s returned from the bar with cups of water for each of them. David huffs unhappily at being interrupted, but accepts a water when Patrick hands it to him, climbing off his lap into his own seat.

“I think we should start a band, you guys,” Patrick says, throwing his head back and laughing at the sour looks David and Stevie both give him.

“You two wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off each other long enough to get through a set,” Stevie says.

“‘Scuse you, we run a whole business together!” David retorts.

“I have literally walked in on you guys sucking face at your place of business in the middle of a business day.”

“Wha’s your point?”

“Hey,” Patrick says, stealing David’s attention away from Stevie. “You realize I’m gonna need you to sing to me, like, all the time now, right?”

David shakes his head. “No.”

“No?”

“This was a limited engagement.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Is it?”

“It is.” Patrick leans in, nose bumping against David’s ear. “Can I hear a little more now then?”

David shakes his head, but he’s smiling. Patrick kisses his dimple.

“How’s it go? _I’m hmm, but I’m hmm hmm…_ ” Patrick sing-hums.

“I don’t have the words in front of me, I don’t know.”

“Your eyes were closed for half of the song, and you love Alanis, so I know you have it memorized.”

David fidgets like he’s shy about it, but eventually sings, quietly, _“I’m high, but I’m grounded…”_

Patrick kisses his jaw as a reward, and David giggles into the next line.

_“I’m sane, but I’m overwhelmed…”_

He turns his face toward Patrick, giving him a taste of his own medicine, kissing he neck right where he’s ticklish so he shrugs his shoulder and turns is face away. He’s still smiling too though, so David kisses his cheek and sings right into his ear:

_“I’m lost, but I’m hopeful, baby…”_

Patrick turns to face David again, tugging him in by the collar of his sweater and kissing him. David is laughing and kissing him back, and doesn’t even seem to care that Patrick is stretching his collar out. He pulls out of the kiss, and leans in to whisper into Patrick’s ear.

“You like when I call you ‘baby’.”

“Psh, what?” Patrick says, his face suddenly feeling very warm.

“You do, don’t you?” He nips at Patrick’s earlobe, surprising a gasp out of him. “ _Baby._ ”

“Shut up,” Patrick says, but his smile gives him away.

“S’that what you want, _baby_?” David croons, and Patrick shivers, realizing at that moment that he’s going to have to put a stop to this or else really risk them getting kicked out of the bar.

Luckily, he’s saved by someone tapping on the mic and clearing their throat into it. They look up and Stevie is back on stage. Once again, they hadn’t even noticed she’d left the table.

“I’d like to dedicate this song to my friends,” she says. “I’m very happy they’re back together, but if I don’t bring things down a notch in here, I’m gonna barf, so…”

She nods to the DJ, who starts the music. Stevie closes her eyes, hands on the mic in the stand, and sings:

_“I’m only happy when it rains…”_

“Maybe we should try to be a little… more behaved when we’re out with Stevie,” Patrick says over the music, resisting the urge to lean in and whisper in David’s ear.

David waves off the suggestion. “Please, she could sing nothing but Doodle-Bops songs for the rest of the night and there are still…” He looks around the bar. “At least three people here who wanna take her home tonight. She’ll be fine. One of them even looks like they’re under 50!”

Patrick laughs and leans in when David wraps an arm around his shoulders, and they do behave themselves long enough to watch Stevie kill it for the second time that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! ❤️
> 
> In case you need 'em:
> 
> Stevie's songs: ["Criminal" by Fiona Apple](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFOzayDpWoI) and ["Only Happy When it Rains" by Garbage](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpBFOJ3R0M4)  
> Patrick's song (which is also [Noah's song](https://fraudulentzodiac.tumblr.com/post/620149837065781248)): ["One and Only" by Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4r-c4I_9Rc)  
> David's song: ["Hand in My Pocket" by Alanis Morissette](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUjIY_XxF1g)
> 
> Closed to prompts, open to hellos on [Tumblr](https://fraudulentzodiac.tumblr.com)!


End file.
